The Up Or The Shut
by Red Witch
Summary: The Cobras reunite with Destro and his new girlfriend. Proving that the more things change, the more headaches you get.


**The disclaimer telling all of you that I own any GI Joe characters has run off to Hawaii. Only the Countess is mine. Because some of you wanted it, more Cobra adventures on the road! **

**The Up Or The Shut**

Somewhere in Hawaii there was an apartment complex hidden away from the rest of the world. And on the balcony of one of the apartments Destro stood there stretching his arms. He was wearing his usual metal helmet and a pair of blue pajamas. He had a grin on his face as he surveyed the private lagoon and tropical forest below.

"This definitely beats living under a chicken restaurant," Destro smirked to himself.

"Sleep well, Darling?" A blonde woman with an eye patch over her left eye sauntered out in a purple nightgown. She spoke with an untraceable European accent.

"Yes. What a beautiful morning my dear Countess," Destro purred. "But of course it is not as lovely as you."

"Oh Destro, you say the most wonderful things," The Countess purred back. "I can't remember a time when I was so happy."

"Neither can I. I feel like my life has finally turned a corner," Destro breathed in the tropical air. "From Despair Drive to Hopeful Avenue. Everything is finally in place for me. A new home. A new life and a new love. I feel reborn!"

"I know this condo isn't exactly your Scottish castle," The Countess hugged him from behind.

"Screw that stupid castle!" Destro snapped. "It was always too cold and damp anyway! Why do you think I have a slight Jamaican accent? It's because I went to an exclusive boarding school there just to get away from that dump!"

"Besides," He turned around to face the Countess. "Anywhere with you is paradise!" He kissed her passionately.

"Oh Destro. Can it finally be true? After all these years of searching I have found my soul mate," The Countess took a breath.

"If this is a dream I never want to wake up," Destro grinned. "After all these years I have finally found happiness and contentment. And nothing is going to destroy it!"

"Master Destro," A butler entered the room. "You have some guests by the pool. They said they knew you and that you had a business meeting with them."

"Guests? Business? I don't remember setting up a meeting," Destro was immediately suspicious.

"You did say you left messages for some of your clients," The Countess said as she put on a robe. "Perhaps they got in touch?"

"Possibly," Destro put a robe on as well. "Better meet them."

"I'll come with," The Countess said as she took a laser blaster and hid it inside her robe. "Just in case."

"Good idea," Destro nodded as they left the room and went downstairs.

"Destro is that who I think it is?" The Countess pointed as they started to go outside.

"Oh god no…" Destro stopped when he saw who it was. "My dream has become a **nightmare!"**

"ALOHA!" Cobra Commander, The Crimson Twins and Dr. Mindbender called out from their beach chairs around the pool. They were sipping cocktails and lounging around.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LUNATICS DOING HERE?" Destro shouted as he stormed out to the pool. "And how the hell did you find me?"

"It wasn't easy," Cobra Commander groaned as he sipped his alcoholic beverage through a straw through the hole in his helmet. "These past three weeks have been a nightmare!"

"You see after you left and the Baroness stormed out we thought it would be wise to get out of town before she called the authorities on us," Mindbender explained.

"Unfortunately the only way we could get out and stay undercover was using some tactical RV units," Cobra Commander said. "Imagine all of us stuck in two RVs travelling around the world with not enough alcohol."

"I'm afraid I can," Destro winced.

"It wasn't that bad…" Tomax began. "Until the Dreadnoks…"

"Destroyed our tactical RV unit and stole the other one," Xamot added.

"Abandoning us in the woods," Tomax sniffed.

"In our uniforms," Xamot added.

"And running from our lives from an unstable genetic mutation that took out half of a town," Tomax finished.

"Yes, I saw the news online," Destro gave Mindbender a look. "You let Eddie out of the lab didn't you?"

"It seemed like a good idea at the time," Mindbender sighed.

"So even though the majority of law enforcement was concentrating their efforts on stopping a gigantic blob from destroying a town, we still barely evaded the law by the skin of our teeth!" Cobra Commander groaned.

"We accomplished this by getting ourselves lost in the woods," Mindbender admitted. "Twice!"

"Fortunately for us," Xamot began. "We found a bus in the next town…"

"That was filled with people heading for a Comic Con event in the nearest big city," Tomax added.

"A little glitter, a little more makeup and an eyeball painted on my forehead and we blended right in," Mindbender explained.

"Apparently Mindbender is an almost exact doppelganger of a TV villain called Doctor Triclopso on some new science fiction cable show," Cobra Commander explained. "Right down to the uniform."

"Hence why I needed to paint an eyeball on my forehead," Mindbender said.

"It was rather eerie," Tomax said.

"I tell you Mindbender you should sue that show for copyright infringement," Xamot said.

"We spent a day at the convention hiding out among the geeks in the mist," Cobra Commander explained.

"Where I won first prize in the Doctor Triclopso Look Alike Contest," Mindbender grinned. "First prize was two hundred bucks, a cheap trophy and a tour of the studio where they shot the TV show."

"Which happened to be next door to the convention," Cobra Commander said. "And wouldn't you know, just as the tour is winding down we saw this studio big shot land in his private helicopter. So we hijacked it and it had just enough fuel to make it to LA. And from there we stole a yacht from this country music star and made it to Hawaii."

"Where we remembered there was a secret apartment complex on one of the islands catering to the ethically challenged," Tomax added.

"And when we got here we just asked the administration office for a pompous Scotsman with a slight Jamaican accent and a shiny silver metal head," Xamot smirked. "And here we are."

"But how did you know I was here in the first place?" Destro asked.

"That's all on me, Destro Daddy-o!" Crystal Ball floated by on a floating raft in the pool. He had some sunglasses on his crystal ball covering his eyes.

"Apparently Crystal Ball has some kind of built in supernatural GPS system," Cobra Commander said. "We just asked where you were and he showed us."

"Who would have thought the dead man would be the most useful of you lot?" Destro groaned. "I take it Zartan and his squad of scumbags is running amok around here as well?"

"Not exactly…" Mindbender winced.

"Don't talk to me about that traitor!" Cobra Commander bristled. "You were right Destro! We should have gotten rid of that mercenary maniac and his marauding horde of morons years ago!"

"We had a bit of a falling out," Mindbender told Destro.

"I gathered that from the lack of explosions," Destro folded his arms.

"Long story short: The Dreadnoks are maniacs and Zartan is a fool!" Cobra Commander bristled. "If I never see them again it will be too soon! And if I do have the misfortune to see them again it won't be for long! Because I will shoot them! Preferably out of a cannon!"

"They set him on fire again," Crystal Ball called out. "You won't believe how they did it this time!"

"Shut up!" Cobra Commander snarled. "That is not important! The important thing is the Dreadnoks are out! You are back in!"

"No, I am **not!**" Destro snapped. "I quit Cobra! Remember?"

"Oh **that**," Cobra Commander waved. "So we had a little tiff? Is it worth throwing away a couple of decades old friendship for that?"

"We were never friends!" Destro yelled.

"Oh you!" Cobra Commander laughed. "There's that famous jokester I know! Ha ha! What a card!"

"No, I am being completely serious," Destro folded his arms.

"And Countess! How wonderful to see you again!" Cobra Commander got up and bowed to her. "I told Destro he made the right decision choosing you over that harpy the Baroness! Didn't I say that?"

"Oh yes. Yes you did," The Twins and Mindbender agreed. "You did."

"Seriously Destro I am so glad that woman is gone," Cobra Commander said. "She was so toxic. She was poison."

"Not poisonous **enough** it seems," Destro folded his arms.

"Destro our little breakup wasn't your fault! It was **hers!** It was the Baroness that caused all the stress!" Cobra Commander kept shoveling. "You know it. I know it. Everyone knows it. I would have kicked her out sooner but you know how it is. You need at least one female in command or else those unions would come screaming at you with discrimination lawsuits! Am I right? And it's not like I could replace her with Zarana! She was just as bad as the Baroness! And do not get me** started** on Cadet Deming! There was no one else!"

"I'm not buying it Commander," Destro glared. "Why are you really here?"

"Destro. Noble Destro I am wounded that you think so little of me," Cobra Commander put a hand over his heart. "Cobra needs you! I need a capable right hand man I can trust with my life! There's no one else I trust more to run Cobra than you!"

"That and the fact that we're homeless and have nowhere else to go," Crystal Ball called out.

"How would you like to be dunked into the ocean?" Cobra Commander whirled around and shouted.

"Yes! Please!" Crystal Ball yelled. "Even the fish would be better conversationalists than you Cobra Commander!"

"Shut up!" Cobra Commander hissed.

"And the ocean has fewer crabs!" Crystal Ball yelled.

"For the last time I don't have crabs! It's just a slight rash from the body spray!" Cobra Commander yelled. "I'll do it you know? I'll shoot you out of a cannon right into the ocean! Even if I have to steal a cannon to do it!"

"Oh yeah I've heard **that **before!" Crystal Ball shouted.

"You know you can be replaced with an IPhone right?" Cobra Commander shouted.

"All right. This has been lovely," Destro clapped his hands. "Nice to see you all again. Countess darling could you just shoot them all while I get dressed and find a nice place to dump the bodies?"

"Now hold on Destro," The Countess waved. "Maybe you shouldn't be so dismissive of the Commander's generous offer?"

"No, I definitely **should,**" Destro said.

"I mean it seems like Cobra has some vacancies which need to be filled," The Countess smirked. "Am I right, Cobra Commander?"

"Why yes! Yes! We do!" Cobra Commander brightened up.

"We could use all the help we can get," Crystal Ball called out. "Especially him!"

"SHUT UP!" Cobra Commander snarled.

"We're pretty desperate here," Crystal Ball spoke up.

"What part of shut up do you not understand?" Cobra Commander glared at Crystal Ball. "The Up or the Shut?"

"Shouldn't that be the Shut or the Up?" Crystal Ball asked.

"Great! Now I suppose you'll tell me you have spell check too!" Cobra Commander bristled.

"Well I know how to read a dictionary if that's what you mean," Crystal Ball said.

"And I know where the nearest **bowling alley** is!" Cobra Commander snapped. "Keep it up Ball and I'll throw you down an alley for a seven ten split!"

"I've seen you play. More like a gutter ball," Crystal Ball remarked.

Cobra Commander screamed in frustration. He turned to the Countess. "As you can see my dear Countess we are rather lacking in competent help!"

"Oh yeah I'm only the guy who got you here," Crystal Ball called out. "You're welcome!"

"I'm sure I can bring a lot of experience to your organization," The Countess grinned.

"You **want** to work for Cobra?" Destro was stunned. "Uh Darling. Might I have a word with you? In **private?"**

"Oh go ahead. We don't mind," Cobra Commander waved not moving.

Destro glared at Cobra Commander and moved the Countess some distance away from them. "Darling at the risk of sounding a tad insensitive…Have you lost your tiny little mind? I left Cobra for **you**! A new life! Not the old one!"

"Look Destro this is not what I really want either but let's face facts," The Countess said. "The economy is not getting any better. Both our stocks and fortunes are dwindling. We need to find work."

"What about the Malevolent Association?" Destro asked. "We could always go work for them!"

"There is no Malevolent Association anymore," The Countess said. "The Trepidation Patrol retired and are now running a golf resort in Australia. Our head scientist got arrested on a morals charge. Our security agency went bankrupt. My ex Krel bailed out and stole half of the organization's money and ran off with his bimbo secretary to France. And the Overlord is dead."

"Dead? What happened to him?" Destro asked.

"The Trepidation Patrol accidentally set him on fire," The Countess sighed. "Let's just say it wasn't a very good retirement party."

"How many times?" Cobra Commander walked up to her.

"What?" The Countess asked.

"How many times was he set on fire?" Cobra Commander asked.

"Only once," The Countess gave him a look. "I would think that would be enough!"

"Only **once?**" Cobra Commander was incredulous. "That's **it?** What a wimp!"

"Cobra Commander has been set on fire at least once a month for the past two…Maybe three months?" Mindbender asked as he and the twins walked up to them.

"Exactly! Come on!" Cobra Commander scoffed. "No wonder you guys couldn't take over the world! If you can't survive the occasional fire hazard you just don't have what it takes."

"And you believe that is the only qualification you need to be an effective leader?" Destro gave him a look. "That explains a few things."

"Look I have a plan," The Countess said. "It will make us a lot of money. But to do so we are going to need some help. And even this lot is better than none at all."

"What sort of plan?" Destro was intrigued. "And why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I didn't have the manpower to pull it off sooner," The Countess explained.

"What is this plan?" Xamot asked as the others came up to them.

"It's a simple plan. I want to become the new crime boss over all of Hawaii," The Countess said. "All I have to do is eliminate the other bosses and I'm in."

"Sounds reasonable," Cobra Commander said.

"Look give us a few minutes to get dressed and I'll take you to my secret base," The Countess said. "We'll discuss the plan there."

"You have a secret base?" Mindbender asked.

"Two of them actually," The Countess said.

"You have two secret bases as well as a condo in Hawaii?" Cobra Commander was stunned. "Destro you really did trade up!"

"And yet I am still back at square one…" Destro rolled his eyes.

Fifty minutes later…

"You have got to be kidding me?" Cobra Commander looked out of a large van.

"Don't be fooled by its appearance," The Countess said as she drove to the back of the building. She wore a skin tight blue uniform covered by a long black leather jacket and black boots. "It's mostly a cover. But it does provide some extra income as well as a good place to get gossip off the streets."

"So our new hideout…" Xamot blinked.

"Is under a Polynesian chicken restaurant?" Tomax was stunned. "Have you noticed that…?"

"The more things change…?" Xamot added.

"The more they stay the same?" The twins said as one.

"Come on, this way," The Countess waved to them. Soon they were in an elevator which opened up to a huge modern underground base with computers and state of the art monitors everywhere.

"This is huge!" Mindbender whistled. "Makes our last base look like an utter dump!"

"It was an utter dump," Crystal Ball remarked. Mindbender was holding him.

"Upgrade!" Cobra Commander said cheerfully and clapped his hands together. "See I told you this would all work out!"

"There are some personal rooms down the hall on the left," The Countess gave them a basic tour. "The one with a genetic handprint scan in my personal chamber. Stay out of that but otherwise take your pick of rooms."

"This means you don't need to go back to our condo!" Destro snapped. He was wearing his usual uniform.

"Stocked kitchen down the hall here," The Countess pointed out. "Weapons room down that hall. Down that way is the emergency sea exit where there is a specialized yacht that changes into a submarine."

"How does a yacht…?" Tomax began.

"Change into a submarine?" Xamot added.

"Let's just say you do not want to be on deck when the ship goes under," The Countess told them. "Over there is the thermal regulator unit. This entire base has harnessed the power of a volcano so free heating. Which reminds me there is a sauna down that hall right there."

"Very fancy. I'll take it!" Cobra Commander said.

"This isn't yours to take!" Destro snapped. "You are renting! At the most!"

"These buttons right here operate the basic functions of the base," The Countess pointed. "They're all labeled. Anti-Aircraft weapon. Laser gun. Lava gun, Satellite TV, poison gas control…The usual."

"Yeah this is all standard," Mindbender nodded.

"So now that we are all here and you have seen the place let's get right down to business shall we?" The Countess clapped her hands once. "Three nights from now all the mob bosses are throwing a get together in the Grand Hotel which is just down the street. And by a stroke of good fortune, my business is doing the catering."

"That is good fortune," Tomax nodded.

"We poison their food. Finish them off while they are choking, eliminate the henchmen and take a few key hostages and then the island's crime syndicate will pretty much be ours," The Countess said.

"So basically the standard operating procedure we used to do in Cobra back in the day," Cobra Commander said.

"Yes, only this time I would like this to be a **successful** attempt if you don't mind," Destro gave him a look.

"Relax Destro! Who do we look like?" Xamot scoffed.

"Dreadnoks?" Tomax chuckled. "I'm sure we can do…"

"Just fine," Xamot agreed.

"Why are they getting together? Is it for a meeting or a poker tournament?" Cobra Commander asked.

"No, it's a casino night benefit to raise funds for breast cancer," The Countess said.

"Breast cancer? Are you serious?" Mindbender was stunned.

"Very. Apparently all the mob bosses either have a wife or a sister or a mother or an aunt or a mistress that has or had breast cancer," The Countess said. "And one mobster actually did find a lump in his breast. He's not a woman but still…It gave him a scare. Anyway they all got together and decided on a truce on this one subject. They are very dedicated to the cause."

"So in addition to taking over the Hawaiian Mob we're stealing money from Breast Cancer research?" Mindbender blinked. "Boy just when I thought Cobra could not sink any lower."

"Still not the worst thing we've ever done," Cobra Commander snorted. "Okay Countess just tell us the plan and we're in."

"Excellent. With Cobra behind us what could go wrong?" The Countess asked.

"Famous last words," Destro groaned.

Three days later….

"I TOLD YOU IT WAS A MISTAKE JOINING UP WITH THESE MORONS!" Destro yelled as he shot his blaster. The Cobras were behind a huge barricade in their fortress in the control room.

"Look, just because we had a few minor mishaps…" Cobra Commander shouted as he used his blaster.

"A FEW MINOR MISHAPS?!" The Countess screamed. "NOT ONLY DID WE FAIL IN OUR MISSION, GI JOE FOUND MY BASE!"

"YOUR BASE? THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE **OUR** BASE!" Destro shouted.

"Oh who are you **kidding?** This was my base long before I met **you!**" The Countess shouted. "I just said that to get rid of the freeloaders!"

"Well it's not like I **invited** them here!" Destro shouted. "Did I or did I not tell you to shoot them?"

"It looks like the Joes…" Xamot gritted his teeth as he shot.

"Are going to handle that problem for you!" Tomax snapped.

"Don't you two start! Especially after you bungled the entire operation!" The Countess snapped. "All you had to do was pretend to be caterers and poison the mob luncheon's sandwich platters! But **surprise**! You blew that!"

"You twin twits poisoned the wrong food platters!" Destro yelled.

"It was an easy mistake!" Tomax shouted. "There were no labels on the trays!"

"How were we supposed to know they were holding a Miss Fabulous Beauty Pageant at the same time?" Xamot snapped.

"And that the Countess' catering company was supplying them with food as well?" Tomax yelled. "You really should have mentioned that to us!"

"And it's not like any of them **died!**" Xamot shouted again.

"Most of them threw up what little food they ate as soon as they ate it!" Tomax shouted.

"No harm, no foul!" Xamot agreed.

"Yes but the pageant was an hour before the Mob benefit!" Destro shouted. "That spooked the mobsters off! Not a single one of them or their henchmen touched the food!"

"When someone named Fat Tony won't eat your food, you know something is wrong," Mindbender groaned. "So we had to improvise!"

"Yes, using that poison gas was **real improvisation**!" The Countess screamed as she fired. "Unfortunately for us the hotel has an excellent ventilation system!"

"If the purple gas flowing out of one of this city's most popular hotels didn't draw attention the sight of hundreds of pigeons dropping out of the sky simultaneously did!" Cobra Commander groaned.

"No wonder GI Joe was able to find us!" The Countess snarled. "Brilliant planning Destro!"

"HOW IS THIS MY FAULT?" Destro yelled.

"Oh this day is going so well," Crystal Ball remarked. He was on the floor. "Good thing I'm already dead, otherwise I'd be worried."

"SHUT UP!" Destro snapped. He turned to the Countess "YOU ARE NOT PINNING THIS DISASTER ON ME!"

"OH YES I AM!" The Countess shouted. "These are **your friends!"**

"I never said they were my friends!" Destro shouted. "I **repeatedly** and **precisely **said that they were my former associates! Associates are not always friends!"

"Way to make us feel loved," Crystal Ball called out.

"Not to mention what you did at the hotel!" The Countess shouted. "You just had to start shooting didn't you?"

"Look you told me to improvise! I improvised!" Destro snapped. "At least three of the mob bosses are dead! Be happy for that!"

"Oh yes! Very happy! Because the surviving six all want to destroy us all! If the Joes don't do it for them!" The Countess yelled. "It's your recklessness that brought GI Joe on our tail!"

"That's not even what brought the Joes here in the first place!" Destro snapped. "Blame Cobra Commander and his moron minions for that!"

"How were we supposed to know that the yacht we stole belonged to a relative of one of the Joes?" Cobra Commander snapped. "What are the odds that a country music star and a Joe would be related? Come on!"

"And what are the odds that that country music star had put in a tracking device of some sort so the Joes could find our vehicle?" Mindbender groaned.

"The way our luck is going," Xamot gave them a look.

"Pretty good!" Tomax agreed.

"I mean come on! What are the odds that Cross Country guy had a cousin who is famous?" Cobra Commander yelled.

"You don't watch American Idol much do you?" Crystal Ball remarked.

"Not after the first few seasons," Cobra Commander admitted. "It really went downhill when Paula left."

"I don't know I liked Ellen," Crystal Ball said.

"Well yes I liked her too. It's not a matter of liking the judges," Cobra Commander said. "I just missed the chemistry between the original judges. The love-hate relationship between Simon and Paula. You can't script that!"

"You do have a point," Crystal Ball said. "I'm not so sure the talent has been up to…"

"EXCUSE ME!" The Countess yelled. "If you don't mind we are fighting for our lives here! This is **not **the time to be discussing reality shows!"

"Unless it's Survivor," Mindbender spoke up. The Countess glared at him. "What? It fits!"

"Morons…" The Countess swore. "There are **morons** all around me!"

"I **warned** you," Destro said in a sing song voice.

"Shut up Destro!" The Countess snapped.

"Did I or did I not warn you?" Destro went on. "I tried to keep you out of this didn't I? I told you about these people! But did you **listen **to me? Noooooooooooooo!"

"What part of shut up don't you understand?" The Countess shouted as she fired on the enemy. "The Up or the Shut?"

"Again with that phrase," Crystal Ball grumbled. "That has to be wrong!"

"This is the same incompetence that led the Joes to our base!" The Countess shouted.

"Oh really? You didn't think they noticed the **screaming woman** driving the **very clearly** **labeled** catering truck away from the scene?" Destro snapped.

"I believe they were more interested in the metal headed moron shooting up the street out the back!" The Countess yelled.

"It's called cover fire! It is part of something called **strategy!**" Destro shouted.

"Well if you don't come up with some strategy pretty soon we are finished!" The Countess shouted.

"I've got a plan!" Mindbender shouted. "If I can just get to the weapons control systems…Cover me!"

"This better work…" Xamot gritted as he fired his blasters.

"Mindbender!" Tomax snarled as he fired as well.

"Yikes! Dodge the lasers! Dodge the lasers!" Mindbender yelled as he made his way to the control panel. He opened it up and started fiddling with the wires.

"What are you doing?" The Countess yelled. She noticed a large laser emerging from the floor behind them. "That's the lava gun you moron! That only works outside!"

"Not if I can fix this…" Mindbender gritted his teeth as he worked on the control panel. "Just hold them off for a few minutes!"

"Oh sure," Cobra Commander drawled as laser fire erupted all around them. "Would you like us to engage in a game of charades with them? I'm sure the enemy would **love** that!"

"Got it!" Mindbender cackled. "Watch this Joes!"

The lava gun made an odd noise then its head tilted. It started shooting out lava over the Cobras. "AAAAAHH!" Cobra Commander yelled as the Cobras ran from the spitting lava above their heads.

"What the hell are you doing Mind-bungler?" The Countess screamed as they made their way to where he was. "Trying to kill us?"

"Crap! I got some lava on my arm! I got some lava on my arm!" Cobra Commander screamed as he brushed out some small sparks on his arm. "That hurts!"

"It's not like you haven't been burned before," Mindbender said. "And that lava is blocking the Joes! Look! Look at them run! HA HA HA!"

"Look at the lava spitting on all the controls!" The Countess yelled. "Including the…"

"_Defcon One mode activated. Self-Destruct will begin in five minutes_…" A computerized voice spoke out.

"Self-Destruct mode…" The Countess glared at Mindbender. "This whole base is going to go up in minutes!"

"Oops," Mindbender gulped.

"Uh speaking as someone who has been blown up I can tell you right now, that's not such a fun thing," Crystal Ball rolled his ball over to them. "And ghost or not I really do not want to experience that a **second** time!"

"Shall we run for our lives?" Tomax asked pleasantly.

"Yes, let's do," Cobra Commander replied sarcastically. Then he got up and ran out the emergency exit. "COBRA RETREAT! RETREAT!"

"There he goes," Destro groaned. "Singing his _favorite_ song again."

"But for once," Tomax said.

"He's singing the right tune," Xamot said.

"Cobra Commander!" Tomax called out.

"WAIT FOR US!" The Crimson Twins ran behind him.

"Well Crystal Ball I see that it's time for us to go again!" Mindbender said as he scooped up Crystal Ball as they made a run for it.

"Yeah I have all of eternity waiting for me!" Crystal Ball quipped.

"I hate my life…" Destro moaned as the rest of the Cobras fled.

Twenty minutes later on board the Countess's secret vessel.

"It's a nice feature this yacht tuning into a sub," Cobra Commander sat down on a couch in the control room of the large vessel. "Makes it harder for the Joes to track us."

"It's even nicer that the periscope has a huge wide screen," Crystal Ball remarked. He was on the couch too and looking at the image on a large screen. "Wow…Look at that volcano erupt!"

"The base's entire system was powered by volcanic steam and heat! Mess with that of course the damn volcano would erupt!" The Countess yelled as she piloted the yacht sub.

"Nag! Nag! Nag! We got away didn't we?" Cobra Commander snapped.

"At a price!" The Countess snarled.

"Whoa look at all that lava…" Mindbender whistled. "It's covering half the island!"

"Not half the island!" The Countess screeched. "Just the part where I live! My condo is being burned by lava!"

"We are not getting our deposit back on our condo are we?" Destro winced.

"No, we are definitely **not,"** The Countess groaned. "It gets worse. Two of the Mob bosses have condos in that same complex!"

"Great! Now not only do we have GI Joe after us…" Xamot groaned.

"We have the Hawaiian Mob after us as well," Tomax finished.

"And considering how fast that lava is erupting from the volcano I don't think it would be healthy for us to stay on the island," Mindbender gulped.

"I **warned** you," Destro gave the Countess a look. "Did I not warn you?"

"Now where are we going to hide out?" Mindbender asked.

"I have another hideout in Bangkok," The Countess told them. "Try not to destroy it when we get there!" She glared at Destro.

"Oh I suppose you are going to blame me for this too?" Destro snapped.

"You're damn right I am!" The Countess snapped. "Why the hell did I get involved with you? This is just like Krel all over again! Only you haven't cheated on me yet and I lost my home! At least Krel didn't burn my house down!"

"You think I am happy about this?" Destro yelled. "It was my home too!"

"In your **dreams**!" The Countess snapped. "You were only there for a few weeks! I had that condo for years! Some of my best jewelry that I stole was in there! And a lot of money, art and weapons! It's going to take **years **to replace them!"

"Listen Countess!" Destro snapped. "This is not my fault! If you had only **listened** to me…"

"Listen to you? That's all I've been doing is listening to you!" The Countess shouted. "And I have **had it!"**

"How? You barely let me get a word in edgewise!" Destro yelled.

"Sounds like the honeymoon is over for those two," Mindbender remarked.

"The more things change. The more they stay the same," The Crimson Twins said as one.

"And another thing, we are so not sharing a bedroom when we get to Bangkok!" The Countess shouted.

"Good! Maybe I'll get some peace and quiet from your constant **whining!**" Destro yelled.

"Maybe joining up with those two wasn't such a good idea after all?" Cobra Commander groaned.


End file.
